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Tips on How to Ask Your Spouse for a Mediated Divorce

Tips on How to Ask Your Spouse for a Mediated Divorce

Posted By Meyers Law Group, P.C. || 22-Jan-2014

If you have examined how divorce mediation works, and you think this process could work for your dissolution of marriage, then you may still have to figure out how to broach the topic to your spouse. You will have to assess whether at this point you and your spouse will be able to communicate in person about this issue, or whether you will need to give them this suggestion in writing.

To help you out with this part of the process, here are some tips on what you should and should not do.

  1. Before you can tell your spouse about mediation, you have to know more about this process yourself. Research what a mediated divorce means in New York, find a Long Island divorce mediator, etc.
  2. When you try to persuade your spouse to enter divorce mediation, focus on objective facts, such as the money you would save, and how much less conflict and stress there is in mediation than in a litigated divorce. You could also point out that you would get to be the ones who decide on child custody, property division, alimony, etc., instead of a judge.
  3. You can fill your spouse in about your research. Any brochures, pamphlets, or information from local family law centers you can give your spouse can help them evaluate this process for themselves.
  4. It imperative that you express your openness to your spouse's opinions as well. This could look like having a list of several different mediators to choose from, or hearing them out on their choice of mediator, instead of being adamant about the mediator you want for your divorce.
  5. Do not force the issue. You can give your spouse a rundown of the process and your reasons for wanting to pursue mediation, then you should let your spouse mull this over. Do not pester them on the matter. You can be much more successful in this process if you both enter into willingly.
  6. Of course, this also means that you cannot coerce your spouse into mediation, such as through threats of draining them of every cent in court if they refuse to get a mediated divorce.
  7. You can still be persistent though. If your spouse ignores you or rejects the offer, you can still give them some time, but you also give them a timely reminder. You do not want to quit on the possibility of an amicable divorce right away. Even if you are already in the midst of a divorce, you could suggest that you go into mediation to solve the issues that remain.

To learn more about the benefits of divorce mediation, contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. Our experienced Long Island divorce attorney may be able to help you protect your rights as you pursue as amicable divorce as possible.