How realistic is it to hope that a divorce can be settled amicably? It certainly depends on a lot of factors, but it can be achieved. It is also worth striving for, for both your sakes, and for the sake of your child's emotional health. Conflict is inevitable, but there are a number of ways that this and your divorce can be handled successfully. While this may mean you need to pursue mediation, you can still find an amicable settlement through divorce litigation as well. It is important then to understand both processes.
Instead of pressing the matter in a trial, you may be able to make the decisions outside of court through divorce mediation. In this way, you may be able to keep your private issues from being aired publicly, and you further protect your family from emotional wear and tear. A divorce trial is a matter of public record that anyone can obtain. If money is a concern, then mediation may be able to save you time, and thus money. When a divorce gets contentious and goes to trial, there is always the chance that these proceedings could last years, even years longer than the marriage lasted.
In mediation, where you have a neutral third party come into to arbitrate over negotiations. This qualified mediator can help you reach agreements about each issue in the settlement, and your lawyers can ensure that your legal rights are further being upheld in the settlement. Mediation means that you and your spouse are arriving at the decisions in the divorce instead of a judge to dictating what will happen. In order to pursue this alternative to litigation, there are several things that must be lined up beforehand. For example, you and your spouse have to at least be on speaking terms. If you are not able to communicate, then mediation is out of the question. For mediation, you also have to still respect one another. This is crucial to an uncontentious divorce.
If you and your spouse cannot make mediation work, then to trial you will have to go. This still does not have to be a stressful battle, however. There are steps you can take to make things easier on yourself, and on your children as well. First of all, you do not want to badmouth the other parent in front of the kids; in fact, you might try finding a few nice things to say about your soon-to-be ex in front of them. You can also protect your kids by making sure that divorce papers are not left where they can easily be found and read.
As for the trial itself, any level of compromise you can reach in litigation counts. If you take the first step, you might find this compromise rewarded with a measure of reciprocation. This can be a time-saver too. You may even be able to, circumstances allowing, to talk with your spouse, resolve some conflicts, and agree to go through mediation after all. Whether in mediation or in a trial, you can also try putting yourself in your spouse's shoes. Perhaps, some of their demands are not so unreasonable after all.
Armed with a helpful perspective and with knowledge about your legal options, you may be able to pursue the resolution that works best for you and for your family. Your best chances at as amicable a divorce as possible will include making the right choice when it comes to a divorce attorney too. Find the representation that you and your family deserve at Meyers Law Group, P.C. Contact our Long Island divorce attorney today to learn what we may be able to do for you.