How realistic is it to hope that a divorce can be settled amicably? It
certainly depends on a lot of factors, but it can be achieved. It is also
worth striving for, for both your sakes, and for the sake of your child's
emotional health. Conflict is inevitable, but there are a number of ways
that this and your divorce can be handled successfully. While this may
mean you need to pursue mediation, you can still find an amicable settlement through
divorce litigation as well. It is important then to understand both processes.
Instead of pressing the matter in a trial, you may be able to make the
decisions outside of court through
divorce mediation. In this way, you may be able to keep your private issues from being aired
publicly, and you further protect your family from emotional wear and
tear. A divorce trial is a matter of public record that anyone can obtain.
If money is a concern, then mediation may be able to save you time, and
thus money. When a divorce gets contentious and goes to trial, there is
always the chance that these proceedings could last years, even years
longer than the marriage lasted.
In mediation, where you have a neutral third party come into to arbitrate
over negotiations. This qualified mediator can help you reach agreements
about each issue in the settlement, and your lawyers can ensure that your
legal rights are further being upheld in the settlement. Mediation means
that you and your spouse are arriving at the decisions in the divorce
instead of a judge to dictating what will happen. In order to pursue this
alternative to litigation, there are several things that must be lined
up beforehand. For example, you and your spouse have to at least be on
speaking terms. If you are not able to communicate, then mediation is
out of the question. For mediation, you also have to still respect one
another. This is crucial to an uncontentious divorce.
If you and your spouse cannot make mediation work, then to trial you will
have to go. This still does not have to be a stressful battle, however.
There are steps you can take to make things easier on yourself, and on
your children as well. First of all, you do not want to badmouth the other
parent in front of the kids; in fact, you might try finding a few nice
things to say about your soon-to-be ex in front of them. You can also
protect your kids by making sure that divorce papers are not left where
they can easily be found and read.
As for the trial itself, any level of compromise you can reach in litigation
counts. If you take the first step, you might find this compromise rewarded
with a measure of reciprocation. This can be a time-saver too. You may
even be able to, circumstances allowing, to talk with your spouse, resolve
some conflicts, and agree to go through mediation after all. Whether in
mediation or in a trial, you can also try putting yourself in your spouse's
shoes. Perhaps, some of their demands are not so unreasonable after all.
Armed with a helpful perspective and with knowledge about your legal options,
you may be able to pursue the resolution that works best for you and for
your family. Your best chances at as amicable a divorce as possible will
include making the right choice when it comes to a divorce attorney too.
Find the representation that you and your family deserve at Meyers Law
Contact our Long Island divorce attorney today to learn what we may be able to do for you.