So you hear all this advice about needing to communicate with your co-parent
in as positive a way as possible, but how on earth is that supposed to
happen, and what would that even look like? That advice might sound great,
but as always, this is a task that is easier said than done. It is a good
ideal to strive for, however, because chances are that you will still
have to maintain contact with your ex because you two are raising kids
together. So if co-parenting is an option on the table, there are three
main solutions possible for pulling it off.
First of all, you may be able to change things up. Of course, this could
look something like
modifying child custody orders to create a more workable plan with your co-parent, but more simply,
you could open the door to the communication that needs to take place.
If you want healthy communication, sometimes this means that you will
have to take the first step of supplying positive communication. Just
keep things professional and cordial. It might even help you to pretend
that you are strangers, and you are the friendly clerk behind the cashier.
You might just find this type of communication reflected back to you,
and even if it is only a partial reflection, that is probably an improvement.
Then again, the easier and also more effective solution can sometimes be
to just stop talking to each other, and to stop seeing each other. Maybe
you can reduce it to the bare fact-exchange it takes to get your children
to school, to drop them off, or to communicate things about your divorce
case. With minimal communication, perhaps this will give you each the
time to work through your emotions until they fizzle out enough for you
to take on solution one, trying out politeness.
Thirdly, perhaps change in either direction is impossible. Maybe neither
of you will be able to budge an inch. But you can accept this. This can
mean overlooking the rude comments you get, for example, knowing that
you will get better at this ability to ignore your ex over time. Instead
of chafing against the way things are, you and your children may be able
to take things as they come, and then move onto what needs to get done that day.
The good news is that co-parenting lies in your hands, that choosing the
right way to handle talking with your ex can create the most feasible
arrangement. And if you are in the midst of a divorce, or if a significant
change has occurred in your life that necessitates changing
child custody orders, do not hesitate to
contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. We have years of experience dedicated to helping families create the future
that works for them. Work with an excellent family law attorney in Long