Having to maintain some regular contact with your ex can be hard enough,
especially when it is over big decisions that you have to make for your
kids. All the same, at whatever time a conflict starts brewing, you can
minimize or even prevent it. Here are some important things to keep in
mind that may help you keep co-parenting conflicts from flaring up:
The first thing is to remember that your kids come first. What they need
has to outweigh what either of you think they may want. For example, you
do not want to overschedule your kids. While a schedule of extracurricular
activities can be important for your kid's development, also remember
that they need some time to unwind. If their every afternoon is crammed,
studies show that this can stress out your kid. As for your own schedule,
be willing to work with the other parent's schedule. If something
comes up where you might need to trade nights, or especially if your timesharing
is unaffected, try to be as flexible as possible.
Third, when your kid has time with the other parent, you do not want to
interfere with this. Keep to the timeshare agreement, honoring the parenting
plan you created. Fourth, accept the fact that you and the other parent
are going to have different approaches. Try to not voice your disapproval
over your different opinions on how to set up your households, and try
to keep from a judgmental attitude altogether.
Finally, there can be sticky situations financially. For example, if your
kid is begging for a new game or a new outfit, or if they need to fix
their bike, you do not want to let them know that the other parent cannot
afford it. This is something both you and the other parent can sort out,
and that is as much as your child needs to know, that you will talk about
it with their mom/dad. And you certainly do not need to have this conversation
within earshot of your children.
One thing is often the case: you both want what is best for your child.
The problem is agreeing on what "best" means. But knowing that
you both have the same goal, and knowing that there is usually more than
one right answer, you can set aside your problems to do the best that
you can for your kids, respecting the other parent's decisions and
not enforcing your personal expectations on them. If you are struggling
with the current
parenting plan and need to
modify it, or if you want the help of a qualified family law mediator, then you
may be able to find the assistance you need at the Meyers Law Group, P.C.
Contact our Long Island family law attorney today!