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How to Handle Unhelpful Divorce Advice

How to Handle Unhelpful Divorce Advice

Posted By Meyers Law Group, P.C. || 6-Nov-2013

You will want the help of legal and financial experts, and you will want to do research about divorce for yourself. But still, the advice of your family and friends will come unasked for. Despite their best intentions, friends and family can give you "advice" that is plain lousy, or even insulting. So what do you do when their unsolicited advice starts pouring in? Maybe some of these steps can help you find the right response.

You can first off acknowledge their thoughts with thanks, and even a smile. Try to take everything in as objectively as possible. Perhaps someone says that by law you ought to have no less than $X,XXX in alimony. If you yourself are not aware of the law on this matter, make sure you look into it for yourself. So accept the advice graciously, and use it to spur you on to finding the real answers.

What if someone offers advice on how to proceed in an adversarial divorce? ("Keep your ex away from your kids! Don't let him keep the house!", etc.) While some friends have seen divorcing couples fight tooth and nail the whole way through, this is not something you want, and you can express that after you receive their advice politely. Tell them straight out that you do not want to stir things up, that both you and your spouse are committed to being mature and polite as you pursue an uncontested divorce.

Maybe you are being insulted. Too many divorcing people hear something like, "Good for you! I always hated that loser!" Sure you are divorcing, but this is someone you loved and married, and maybe even had your children with. Remind them of this, and ask for the support you need, like their encouragement and humor. If your friend or relative cannot offer you this help but continues to offer unhelpful thoughts, maybe you should take a break from spending time with them until the divorce has settled.

But remember, that even though following their advice would mean havoc in your divorce, your friends and family usually are trying to help because they love you. Sure they bring a heavy bias and they may not know the first thing about divorce law, but you are not spending time with them to hear this sort of advice. You can benefit from their company, and then you can work out the actual details of your divorce with the experts.

When you need a legal expert at your side, contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. Our Long Island divorce lawyer is committed to helping you find a quick and peaceful divorce, helping you to get what you deserve to start the next chapter in life. Learn how our team may be able to help you. Call us today!