As Thanksgiving approaches, to be rapidly followed by Chanukah, Christmas,
and the New Year, you may be apprehensive about all the details that need
to be worked out, whether you are in the throes of a divorce or have finalized your
divorce. It is important to remember, however, that even though traditions will
inescapably be tweaked or replaced, you and your family can still enjoy
the holiday season. Here are some ideas to help you pull this off:
Stay within your budget; this is not a competition after all. If you are
recently off your divorce, your financial outlook will be different than
it was before, and you may not be on the same financial footing as your
ex. Either way, do not try to outspend him or her. Your family will not
love you any less for not going into debt for them, nor will their love
increase if you give them expensive gifts. If your children get lavish
gifts from your ex, be happy for them, and bite back any rude comments
you may want to make.
In fact, you can channel this desire to give fabulous gifts into a healthy
way of staying active: make gifts yourself. Your loved ones may appreciate
such a gift all the more, knowing the personal touches you put into it.
Also, a homemade gift can help you grow your creative abilities and help
you stay busy in a productive way.
After all, you may want to always give yourself something to do, especially
if you fear spending the holidays by yourself. Open up your home to host
friends. Help out charity, volunteering at a homeless shelter or nursing
home. Not only will staying active be healthy for you, but you can provide
help to people who need it.
Remember that your kids come first. Always. Shield them as much as you
can from any hostilities between you and you ex, and help them through
the inconveniences of a split holiday season. And this can mean helping
them enjoy a holiday away from you; you do not want to manipulate them
to choose more time with you over staying away from their other extended
family. What matters is doing what is best for your children, whatever
that may be.
Finally, interacting with your ex is likely to be inevitable over the holidays
if you are co-parents. If you are polite and respectful, even generous
toward them, you may be surprised at the positive results. You certainly
do not have to do anything extreme; little gestures can accomplish much.
And even if kindness is not reciprocated at all, it is of benefit to you
to be the bigger person.
If you are in the midst of a divorce, or if you need to go back and
modify child custody orders for the benefit of your children,
contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. Our Long Island divorce lawyer may be able to help you achieve your family's