While there are clearly a number of benefits for a divorce, it is also important to approach the decision with open eyes, and a clear understanding what can and cannot occur in the split. In a divorce you will have the opportunity to divide your property, have a new opportunity for freedom as a single person, and even receive alimony payments if you are the lesser income spouse. However, there are a number of things that a divorce cannot do for you, and it is important to be aware of these things.
First off, whether you live in a community property state, or an equitable distribution state such as the New York, you must be aware that property division is not guaranteed to be equal in any way. Whichever category of property division you fall under, there is no mathematical way that the property will be absolutely divided equally between you and your ex. It is important to understand that even though equitable division seeks to do split in a manner that is fair, you are still going to lose certain aspects of your property. However, if you are convinced that a divorce is what needs to happen in your marriage, then you understand that it is in fact worth the loss of mere property.
If you have children, a divorce does not mean that you never have to deal with your ex again either. In fact, while the court will lay out guidelines for visitation and
custody arrangements, they do not babysit moms and dads to enforce this. It is up to the parents to ensure that their children get to spend the property time with each of their parents, which will require a level of communication with one another on your part. Remember, now that you are going divorce, you deal with your ex for the sake of your kids, not yourself. This is extremely important to remember as your children will be effected by how you treat one another during a divorce, especially in the year following. The kids will already feel torn to choose sides, and if you can relieve that pressure from them at all, it will be beneficial for them in the long run.
Another important factor to realize is that while a divorce will allow you a new sense of independence, you will not be able to maintain your standard of living, at least in the beginning. Your budget will have to change in order to adapt to living off of a single income, and perhaps while even still taking care of children. A lot of changes will have to happen after a divorce, though as stated, if you believe the divorce is worth it, then so will all of the changes.
Lastly, a divorce is not something that is going to resolve every issue that arose during the time you and your spouse were married. Whether you and your spouse settle your divorce through mediation, or you choose to take one another to court, this will not fulfill your desire for payback. You must keep in mind that a divorce is a way for you to part from your ex, but don't use going to court as a way to punish them. A divorce is not going to make everything better after the emotional pains of a difficult marriage, though it will be a stepping stone to that end. Seek the help of a trusted friend or counselor to discuss your emotional pain and heartache rather than filtering it through the divorce process itself.
Contact the Meyers Law Group today for more information on filing for a divorce in Long Island.