Filing for a
divorce is a big step for any family; and while some couples can work through
their problems and disagreements successfully, there are many that cannot.
In the event that you and your spouse realize there is nothing you can
do to keep you two together that is the time you
contact a Long Island divorce attorney to discuss the many options available. Divorce is the ending of a marriage
and a life together, however; in the event that there are children involved
there are many hearts at stake in addition to yours and your spouse's.
When there are children involved, a divorce has the potential to being
a much more difficult which is why as parents it is absolutely essential
to preparing the children for your divorce. First off, when you are going
through a divorce, be honest with your children. Don't try to make
up a story about the problems you're having, just be honest up front
that you two are separating, it will give them time to process the situation
before the divorce is final.
Also, you want them to continue trusting you, the more you and your spouse
try to hide the truth from them, and the greater the potential for resentment
is. Remember, if you and your spouse are having trouble in your marriage,
it is very likely that they already have witnessed this tension, being
straight forward with them may help protect your relationship with them.
Reaffirming your love for your children is a crucial step during the divorce
process. Help your children know that while their parents may not love
each other romantically anymore, they still love their children more than
the world. Along with saying "I love you" often, do what you
can to let them know that no matter what happens they will always be cared
for and looked after by their parents.
Another important aspect to not avoid with the kids is what will be changing.
Discuss with them that mom and dad will be living separately after the
divorce, explain that they may be switching back and forth between homes
at different times, etc. By telling them what to expect before the big
moves actually happen can allow them the chance to process and prepare,
no matter their age.
When divorcing your spouse, remember that you are still parents of the
same children. Because of this, it is absolutely vital that you don't
blame the other parent in front of the children. They will have the tendency
to feel torn no matter what, and by one, or both, parents blaming the
other it will make them feel even more overwhelmed and torn between the
two of you. Along these lines, when talking about the divorce to your
children show a respect for your soon-to-be ex-spouse. You want your children
to handle this situation and change as best as possible, so save the hateful
feelings for your friends or therapist.
When filing for a divorce, it is important to spend time with the children
too; and not just get caught up in the legal details entirely. Remember
that they need you during this time and whether it means they need someone
to talk with, or just hold them; show the kids that you and your spouse
are there for them no matter what.
Going through divorce can be a difficult period for both the spouses and
the children, but with the help of an experienced divorce and family attorney
discussing the matters of a divorce such as
custody and the
division of assets, etc. can be much more simple. Contact the Meyers Law Group today for
more information on how we can walk your through this process.