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Ways to Help Your Kids Through a Divorce

Ways to Help Your Kids Through a Divorce

Posted By Meyers Law Group, P.C. || 3-Dec-2013

The biggest fear for a divorcing couple is the financial cost of a divorce—if they do not have children. But if a couple has children, then naturally, one of the top concerns will be how a divorce will affect them. This concern is sometimes enough for parents to delay a divorce. But if you have initiated the divorce process, the good news is that there are several steps that you can take to shield your kids. Here are some of them:

1. First of all, pursuing as uncontentious a divorce as possible will protect your kids, not to mention it will save both you and your spouse a lot of headache and costs too. The reality is that divorce litigation should be no one's go-to option. It often means months of nasty, bitter battles as spouses try to bankrupt one another, only that the extra legal fees will hurt them both. These would also be months of their children feeling like they are in limbo. Of course, litigation is inevitable in some cases, but if possible, divorce mediation or an uncontested divorce is far, far better way to approach divorce. This saves you money, sure, but more importantly, your kids would not be caught in the middle of endless skirmishes, and they could move on with their lives that much sooner.

2. Of course, even if you do avoid the fights in court, there is still the chance that your children can be exposed to the rancor of fights whenever their parents meet, as if being shuffled from house to house was not already stressful enough on them. And then if you badmouth their other parent in front of them, this is hurtful to your child. If you grill your child with questions on what they did with your ex, this can be stressful for them too. You do not want to stage conflicts in front of your kids, and when they are over, you can spend your time helping them, providing them with the opportunities to do what they enjoy instead of thinking about the divorce.

3. Therapy can be immensely helpful too—and not just for your child either. If you go to a therapist, you may be able to dump all your unhealthy emotions about the divorce, meaning that your kids might never have to see you express these. And of course, with the emotional turmoil your child can be going through, therapy may also help them open up and cope.

4. And as much as you can be focused on your children, remember that looking after yourself also helps them. If you do not make time to unwind, then your tension can influence your kids. Especially when your children are with your ex, you can use that time to get a massage, have a quiet night in, or to go out with your friends. When you are happier, this can help you be a better parent.

5. To close with the biggest measure you need to take: communicate with your kids. Consistently. You may think that they are assured already that they are not to blame for the divorce, but it is usual for kids to feel guilt, to feel responsible. Your children need to know that their parents' issues are one-hundred percent to blame for the divorce, and that they are in no way responsible. They also need to be confident that their parents love them, that you both want to stay in their lives and keep meaningful and healthy relationships with them.

And to do this, you need to get a fair parenting plan. When you need to build the best future possible for you and your family, contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. Our Long Island divorce lawyers has years of experience in helping families reach the divorce settlement that they deserve.