Studies have showed time and time again that money problems tend to be one of the leading causing of failed marriages. In fact financial strain and conflict causes more divorce than even infidelity and children problems. Why is this? Why does money so often define how we run our lives and make decisions, so much so that our marriages suffer (and end) as a result? Whether you’re married, engaged or simply in a serious relationship, talking about money matters is a very important conversation that needs to be had, even when it’s uncomfortable.
While many people may think that addressing money doesn’t matter—it does. In fact, if you and your spouse want to have relationship that is centered on trust and love, then being open about your money with one another is one of the most tangible ways you can exercise those characteristics to one another. Discuss small money issues such as dates, groceries, style of living etc. If you are able to talk about that before you even marry, it will pave the way for greater understanding and communication with regards to how you spend each other’s money in life. By discussing money matters early on, it will help you to avoid bigger issues later on in life.
How then, should you bring up money matters with your significant other? Here are a few tips to consider before you bring up this weighty conversation to your partner. Especially if there are concerns that you already have with regards to finances and your partner, be sure to address these on the front end before it is too late. First off, make sure you are prepared with your talk before you speak up. Watch how your partner spends his or her money and make note of the specific concerns that you may have. Being observant is extremely important, and this includes being aware of their spending habits, current debt and other loans as well.
Next, you want to make sure that when you address these concerns, that you are honest it your partner. If you believe that they are simply spending too much on “x, y, z” then you need to speak up and share that concern with them. This may mean that you need to suggest setting a new family budget, or simply just raising your fear of future debt because of their current habits. Even when it is hard, honesty at the front end will pave the way for a more efficient marriage centered on communication. Finally, address each of your goals in life and include how finances will play into that. When you and your spouse make an agreement on finances, agree to stick together. Where finances can harm a marriage, it can also bond couples together who are willing to work alongside one another. Learning how to work together with your finances is going to be crucial, and perhaps it can lead to you agreeing to share the weight of financial planning equally between the two of you.
This may not be for everyone though, and perhaps you and your spouse have tried everything to agree on terms of finances and no matter what it seems impossible. You’re not alone if this is the case for you. Many couples often argue over money, and while some may be able to work through it others may not be able to.
If you do decide that divorce is the best route for you, please contact the Meyers Law Group today to speak with a divorce lawyer in Long Island. Contact us today for more information.