Perhaps you and your spouse are considering the option of a divorce, or you have already gone through with the process, and you are feeling overwhelmed over how you two will co-parent together once you have moved on. The first thing to remember is that co-parenting is about the kids, not you. Sure, you want to find a schedule that will enable you to actually spend time with your kids, but you have to remember that some sacrifices will need to be made in order to successfully raise your kids with their other parent, separately.
While there are many parents who have the ability to co-parent together, this is not always the option for others. Whether the divorce was a result of domestic violence, or one of the parents moves far away; you will need to figure out what is best for the kids. For example, perhaps the mother was given the children the majority of the time, because she has stayed in the area of the kids school, extracurricular activities, etc. and the father moved to another state for work. Although the kids may only spend the summer with their father, co-parenting is still something that can be done; even thousands of miles apart. Here are a few tips to consider when co-parenting—from any distance.
Communication is key in a co-parenting relationship. Whether you and your ex are in the same city, or you are miles apart; communicating on how to raise your kids is essential. For the sake of the children, there needs to be a level of trust and commitment in order to do whatever is best for your children. Remember, your kids look up to each of you; and how you chose to go about this after your divorce is going to make the world of a difference in their lives.
Next, you want to remember that you never want to bad mouth your ex in front of the ids, no matter how frustrated you may be with them. This is a delicate time for the kids, and if you are continually saying bad things about their other parent, they may feel pressured to have to choose sides, and this is not healthy for them.
Other helpful tips for those parents who are able to spend more regular time with the kids, is to allow the other parent the opportunity to be involved in monumental life events. For example, if you are a mother of a teenage boy, allow his father the chance to teach him how to drive before allowing your new partner that opportunity.
Fathers, perhaps your daughter is trying out for cheerleading at her high school, try offering the opportunity to bond over this season with her mother before handing it off to the new woman in your life. This may not work in every situation, but if there is a chance to have the other parent involved in the big moments of life for your kids, try to do so.
When co-parenting, it is still nice for the kids to see their parents in the same room together. So, if it is at all possible, consider still celebrating birthdays together with your kids, so that they don't have to feel torn between homes on their day to celebrate.
Lastly, pick your battles wisely when co-parenting. Just as in marriage, you and your ex will not agree on everything, and that is okay; just try and choose what you seek to fight over and when to comply with discernment. There is a reason that you and your ex chose to end the marriage, and because of this there will be temptations to let feelings like jealousy or bitterness to take over. If you can keep your focus on the good of your children, you may be able to combat these difficulties.
These are just a few tips to consider, and some may be helpful to you; others may not. The overall idea when it comes to co-parenting is that you seek to help your children through the divorce, and support them in life as they grow up—this time is going to fly by very quickly!
Contact The Meyers Law Group, P.C. today if you have any questions regarding divorce,
child custody, etc. Our firm has years of experience, so if you are looking door a divorce attorney in Long Island, we are here to help you! Don't hesitate in giving us a call to discuss you legal family matters, today.