Within the topic of a divorce as parents, there are many issues that are
going to be brought up, both during the settlement process and even after
the divorce as you are raising your children (perhaps together, but still
separate). One of these concerns that can come up is what to do with your
children for holidays and birthdays? Each hold a significant value, and
for many of you parents, family time is important especially on these
days. Here are a few things to consider as parents in order to communicate
and work on coming to an agreement for these special days.
Believe it or not, there are certain families who even after a divorce
will still choose to come together for holidays for the sake of the children,
perhaps that is you; or maybe not. First off, if you and your spouse have
decided to file for a divorce, contact an experienced Long Island divorce
attorney for the legal guidance you will need during this process.
You will want to work through a parting agreement during your settlement
in order to work through matters such as
child support, scheduling etc. Within this agreement you may want to go through the
special holiday and birthday plans so that you at least have a general
guideline to go by after the divorce. When doing so, remember that this
is for the sake of your children so you will want to be flexible and that
after the divorce you need to focus on how to help them as well.
Take the time to ask the kids what they would prefer and then seek to work
on an agreement. Next, planning ahead is always important when dealing
with two different households and different schedules. By having strong
communication throughout it will help you and your ex from having clashing
Work through what is best for each of you, and while agreeing to be flexible
come up with a plan and dates as best as you are able to. When dealing
with your ex, don't be rude to them. Remember, they are still your
children's parent and at least until the kids become adults, you will
have to interact with them on some level for the next few years. Being
kind to one another can go a long way as an example to your kids during
Also, tell your children that you care about what happens at the other
parents home. If they receive a new toy from their dad; you want to hear
about it. Or if they had a fun day at the park with mom, you want to hear
about it. Encourage this communication in the family for the good of the
kids and yourselves.
Perhaps you and your ex-spouse are not ready to spend Christmas together
just yet, consider having two separate Christmas at each of your house
so that neither parent loses out on their favorite holiday gathering?
Decide what works best for each of you and roll with it, over the years
it may change; so don't be afraid of trying new things. Lastly, remember
that as a parent you need to take car of yourself as well. On those days
when your kids are with the other parent, make sure you focus on helping
yourself recover from the divorce.
If you or someone you know is considering filing for a divorce,
contact the Meyers Law Group, P.C. today for the experienced attorney you deserve. At our firm we have many
years of legal practice and we want to help you make the divorce as smooth