When your child graduates, promotes, or wins an award, you want to be there to celebrate with them. Naturally your child probably wants to spend time with you during this important part of their life. However, after a divorce, it may be awkward for both spouses to show up at a graduation party or a big football game at school. If you are struggling with how to share in your child’s triumphs and still respect giving your ex-spouse some space, some of these practical tips might help.
For one, evaluate whether or not your child wants you at their event. Chances are that your son or daughter would be devastated if you were not there to watch him or her receive a diploma or trophy, so make an effort to be there if you believe that situation applies to you. You may want to speak one-on-one about the upcoming event with your child. Ask him or her if he or she wants you to attend and then if he or she is concerned about you being in the same vicinity as your ex-spouse. Also, if you are coming to a child’s event, think twice before bringing a significant other. If your child is still coping with the divorce, it’s probably not wise to bring a new boyfriend or girlfriend along.
Make sure to be respectful of your co-parent, despite the division between you both. If you are going to make this day memorable for your child, you and your co-parent will need to be cordial to one another. Children never like to be embarrassed by their parents, and if you and your ex-spouse are too hostile it may create an awkward atmosphere. Make sure to focus on your child at the event, not your strife with your ex-spouse. This will help you to preserve your relationship with your son or daughter despite the fact that you may not always be present in his or her life.